


Merchandise Combustion

by Donteatthefootcream



Series: Pride Month 2020 [1]
Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Bisexual Harleen Quinzel, Burning things, F/F, Fluff, Kissing, Lesbian Pamela Isley, Screw big corporations, Sort of Political, pride month
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-01
Updated: 2020-06-01
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:01:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24481675
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Donteatthefootcream/pseuds/Donteatthefootcream
Summary: Harley decides that the best way to start off Pride Month is by destroying corporation pride merch. It only seems appropriate.
Relationships: Pamela Isley/Harleen Quinzel
Series: Pride Month 2020 [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1768411
Comments: 3
Kudos: 41





	Merchandise Combustion

“It’s Pride Month, Red! You know what that means!” Harley enters the room, shooting finger guns at her girlfriend. 

No response, Ivy leaning over one of her plants. 

“You’re right! Corporations will be selling Pride merch for their own benefit!”

Harley throws her arms around Ivy, pressing a kiss to her green face and leaning over her. Plants may be interesting, but her plan is much better. 

“So, I was thinking we would break into their warehouses and then burn all the products? A big ‘fuck you’ ya know? Because we all know that they might be donating something to LGBT+ charities, but they’re still going to fund Trump and Coachella.”

It finally gets a response out of Ivy, sighing and leaning back into Harley’s back. She knows Harley’s not going to give this up. 

“You really had to play the Trump card, huh?” Ivy says. 

“He is removing funding from environmental protections so… yes,” Harley replies. 

“So, we’re breaking in and burning merchandise? What companies will we be hitting?”

Harley cocks her head in consideration. “There’s so many to choose from! Target, H&M, Kohls, Nike, you name it really! The only place I actually trust is Spencer’s.”

If Ivy softly laughs, Harley doesn’t say anything. 

“Are we on?” Harley asks. 

“I guess so,” Ivy confirms with a shrug. 

“It’s a date then!” She squeezes her arms, giving Ivy a hug before skipping away. She has lots of planning to do. 

  
  


What was really nice about everything is that it wasn’t exactly their M.O’s. Burning shit? Nah. Exploding something at least. 

It wasn’t exactly hard for the first three warehouses. The guards hated their jobs and found it pointless, resulting in a very easy overpowering. The ridiculousness of it all wasn’t exactly Ivy’s forte, but it gave her something to do. Besides, it made Harley smile and that’s all she really wants in the end: for Harley to smile. 

“I don’t know, I think this shirt would look good on me!” Harley considers, raising a crop top to her chest. It isn’t pride, simply something she found while looking for the actual pride items. 

Ivy looks at her from across the warehouse, moving boxes to separate which from which. “Harley, you deserve something more than H&M.”

She pouts. “Are you saying I wouldn’t look good in it?”

“No, I’m saying you deserve some Lord & Taylor or something like that. You can rock anything!” 

Harley shrugs, allowing Ivy’s explanation. She throws the shirt back into the box, kicking it out of her way. 

They both continue searching through the crates and boxes, coming up with a very good collection after about a few hours. 

Ivy watches as Harley throws gasoline onto their giant pile of clothes, laughing and dancing while doing it. She’s a beautiful sight to behold, insane or not. 

“You know this is terrible for the environment?” Ivy questions Harley, returning to her side and pressing herself into Ivy. “It’s combustion, producing carbon dioxide. We already have enough in the air.”

“Plant more trees for me, Red? Please?”

Ivy rolls her eyes. It goes against all of her morals to let and aid Harley in these endeavors, but the pleading look in Harley’s eyes always gets her. Although she knows Harley will return the favor in the future, it still hurts her to allow this combustion. 

“Ugh, fine,” Ivy gives in, crossing her arms. 

“You’re a sweetheart!” Harley cheers, kissing Ivy’s cheek. She leaves a lipstick stain for good measure. “Do you want to light it up?”

Her significant other glares at her. 

“Yes, yes, combustion. Got it.” Harley nods, flicking open the lighter and throwing it onto their pile. 

They stand there in silence apart from the crackling sounds and Harley’s giggling. Ivy’s used to Harley’s easy excitement, not minding Harley clinging to her arm and hopping up and down. It’s cute in a Harley Quin kind of way. Ivy loves it. 

What Ivy doesn’t love is the smell of smoke, reminding her of how much she’ll regret this later. Just like the past three nights. 

“Hey, Ivy?” Harley calls, wanting her attention. 

Ivy looks at her, humming in response. 

Harley cups her face, kissing her with the heat of the fire blazing feet away from them. No matter how angry she is about the excess production of carbon dioxide, she finds herself forgetting about it with Harley’s lips on hers. 

Harley’s so sweet, and so are her lips. Sweet like candy, and it’s become Ivy’s favorite taste over the past few years. A  _ wonderful  _ past few years. She can see living the rest of her days with Harley, and she can’t complain, hearing the echoing of Harley’s joyous laughter. A beautiful sound. 

“I love you, Red,” Harley tells her, their lips brushing together from the movement. 

“I love you too, Harley. No matter how annoying you can be,” Ivy replies, letting herself smile. 

There’s sirens in the distance, pulling the lovers out of their embrace. Firefighters or not, neither of them are interested in getting involved with any flashing lights. Those kinds of lights mean trouble. For them, at least. 

“We should get out of here,” Ivy suggests, already pushing Harley in front of her to start moving. 

“Leave the emergency vehicles to ruin all our fun!” Harley complains, running off. 

Ivy runs after her, trailing behind just in case. She’d rather be arrested than have it be Harley. 

It’s moments like these, running away from a huge pile of burning pride merch that these are situations she could never find herself getting into, but Harley’s smile and pestering becomes irresistible. Tonight, and every other stupid plan Harley gets Ivy wrapped into, reminds Ivy that she would follow Harley to the end of the world. Plants be damned. 


End file.
